It's all jus' dialogue!

The Chia House animal Commercial...

I'm decided each is fully aware of the Chia Pet commercials. However, afterwards, the commercials were modified to sell a at variance product...

Woman: I amity Chia Pets! I bought one for my son, my daughter, my husband, and... myself!

[Camera cuts to the woman's family.]

Son: Yeah, it's in fact inflexible on us, living with a skitzophrenic gross who buys us everyone the equivalent donation every year.

Daughter: All the time, it's chia pet this, chia pet that. It's nearly comparable she gets off on saying "chia."

Husband: The by oneself device I can discharge with it is comprehend of deviating ways to deface it.

[Camera cuts to a flashback the spouse is having, where he is holding a chia pet in one hand. With the other hand, he turns on the debris disposal, turns it off, then he opens the microwave and closes it, and glances incesstantly between the two.]

Son: Whether you obtain a sibling who is suffering from intellectual disorders, please, cache them absent from the phone, and you'll conduct yourself elsewhere from Chia Pets.

The FBI spying on Punker...

In the '60s, one of the competent methods of the governance trying to disrupt activist movements was convincing guidance members of these organizations that their husband was cheating on them, or vise versa. Repeatedly times, this would be a human race or a female calling up the adult they wanted to bestow envy to, and then asking to state to their spouse (using their name), and then abruptly hanging up. It was honest sufficiently to effect suspicion. Now, you may envision that the FBI has stopped doing this. Oh contraire!

Sergeant Johnson: Okay, I'm going to itch you to bell up Punker and solicit to divulge to Stray. Got it?

Detective Carl: Yes, sir.

[Dialing...]

Punker (answering): Mmmmmmyello....

Carl: Hi, is Stray there?

Punker: Speaking.

Carl: No, I mean... Stray, the female? (reading from a paper)... woman whom you are intimately involved with, I mean, who Punker is intimately involved with.

Punker: I conceive I perceive who I am.

Carl: Uuummmm, okay, then...

Johnson (whispering to Carl and giving him a lot fo paper): Quick! Peruse this!

Carl: I appetite to stick my language in your ass...

Punker: Ooooo! When can we end this!?!?

........

Johnson: Why the hell did you hang up, Carl!?

[Carl gives a deathly flash at Johnson.]

Johnson: Telephone again.

Carl: However -- nevertheless --.....

Johnson: I'm the ranking officer here. At the moment engage in it!

Carl: Fine....

[Dialing...]

Punker (answering): This is Andrew Rooney and Ed Bradley in Sixty Minutes... Ka-pooshshshshzzzshzshzsh......

[Silence...]

Carl (cautious): Uh, is Stray --

Punker: Are your tire treads running low!? Then influence Youngster Widen Tread Increaser, fabricated from 100% recycled dead baby!

[Silence...]

Johnson (to Carl): Pep on!

Carl (still cautious): I wish to --

Punker: Keep women with my sister? Hardihood ahead!

[Carl looks to Johnson with puppy dog eyes. Johnson returns it with a stern look.]

Carl: Is Stray --

Punker: Highly sexual? You bet! At least, on account of remain day I saying her with some FBI detective's wife.

Carl: ... huh, wha-?

The FBI spying on Punker II...

Failing in their attempts to disrupt the social code movement of Punker, the FBI reverts to a contradistinctive tactic.

Johnson: Okay, Carl, you're fired. Shop for the hell gone of here.

Carl: Thank you, sir.

Johnson: Belinda... I'll call for your assistance.

Belinda: What create you desire me to do?

Johnson: I devoir you to phone up Punker, and convince him that you had manhood with him.

Belinda: Sure...

[Dialing....]

Punker: Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!! Ka-boosm, kabaaaaashhh, shkooooshhhhmmmm.... 'I can't mood my legs!!!' 'We must advance the forward line!' 'Aaaaargggghhhh!' Det det det det det det.... 'We gotta grip absent that bunker!' Det det det det det....

[Belinda looks at Johnson with puppy dog eyes.]

Johnson: Oomph on!

Belinda: Hi, Punker baby...

Punker: Oh, it's a chick, heh, heh, heh, heh.... Hey, lova'.

Belinda: My autonym is Liz. Close you commemorate having sexuality with me?

Punker: .........

Belinda: Remember, you asked me provided we could fuck, and I said yes...?

Punker: ..........

Belinda: I hold brown hair?

Punker: Oh, Liz! Conscientious correct right, forthwith it makes sense...

Belinda: Yeah, I wanted to be learned if she would impress cool again. On the other hand first, you admit to blow open Stray that you animosity her and won't ever contemplate her again.

Punker: It depends... What cause you scrutinize like?

Belinda: You remember, we had sex?

Punker: A, touch'e... but, of all the serendipitous girls I've fucked, I've still to annex men sober. And when I wake up, all I gain to be cognizant that I did anything is a wet condom that smells close me. On the contrary then again, the taste was something different, so I'm not sure.

[Belinda looks to Johnson, with a pleading look....]

Johnson: Garner going!

Belinda: Yeah, uhhh, well, I'm blonde, short, barn door busted...

[Johnson starts laughing... Belinda punches him.]

Punker: Hhhmmmmm, what are you wearing?

Belinda: A ebony dress.

Punker: Can you descriptively authorize me what it's conforming when you eat a strawberry sundae?

Belinda: Well, inceptive I stick away my tongue and massage the soft, frigid -- I mean....

Punker: You tight what?

Johnson: You fuckin' hung up! Why!?

Belinda: No earnings is valuation that.

Johnson: Predispose the hell out! You're fired!

www.punkerslut.com

For Life,

Punkerslut (or Andy Carloff) has been writing essays and poetry on social issues which keep caught his affliction for indefinite years. His website http://www.punkerslut.com provides a unabridged document of all of these writings. His lifetime acquaintance includes homelessness, squating in Distinct Orleans and LA, dropping elsewhere of high rise school, getting expelled from institution for "subversive activities," and a horde of other revolutionary actions.